Energized Eating’s Blog

Ken had an inkling that this cooking class to which he had been invited by striking yoga teacher and macrobiotic hip chick extraordinaire, Shiitake Jones held more romantic potential than he had been willing to admit to himself. He knocked nervously at the recycled bamboo door of Shiitake’s abode. When he had encountered her while stocking up on macrobiotic staples for his new lifestyle at the local Wild Rice Super Wholefoods store, the electricity that had sparked between them over a box of Quinoa was something he had never felt the likeness of. Organic, locally produced, preservative free chardonnay in hand, Ken waited on the doorstep in anticipation.

"Zen!"’ Shiitake exclaimed as she threw the door open. The sounds of Tibetan chants wafted through the front door, vying for his attention with a heady hit of chakra balancing lotus incense. "There you are! I was just putting my brand new Silit pressure cooker on the wood stove. Nothing beats freshly cooked organic rice!" Ken narrowly avoided a wind chime as he made his way inside, nodding vigorously to indicate his agreement. Shiitake caught him checking out the futon couch, sisal rugs and organic cotton curtains. "Its all just been feng shuied you know," she said, secretly watching his gaze linger on the futon. Still not quite sure what to expect, Ken had thought there would be more people at this "cooking" class. It was beginning to look more and more like a "private lesson" with Shiitake. Ken glanced at her svelte form by the stove and realized he was quite pleased to have her all to himself. Ken began to think about changing his name to Zen as he waited to see how the evening would unfold.

Not surprised that Shiitake declined his offer of wine, saying she wanted to keep her chi focused on the alchemy of cooking, Ken poured himself a glass and began to relax on Shiitake’s couch, while she returned to the stove. He started to flick through the issues of Macrobiotics Today stacked neatly on the recycled, hand crafted, fair trade wooden coffee table, wanting to get a feel for Shiitake’s way of life and what he was in for. As he read about macrobiotic summer camps, debates about the use of animal foods and supplements and noted some interesting recipes that he thought may come in useful sometime soon when trying to impress a certain macrobiotic someone, he cast a few furtive glances at object of his admiration as she stir fried and nishimed. Shiitake was aware that this would be Ken’s first balanced macrobiotic meal and she intended it to be perfect, down to the last hand ground sesame seed. Shiitake had been explaining all her preparation methods and filling Ken in on various aspects of the macrobiotic lifestyle while she cooked. For a moment there was silence except for the faint hiss of the pressure cooker on the stove. Being a man of action, Ken gathered his courage and decided to seize the opportunity. He jumped up and made his way to the stove, gently put his arm around Shiitake, giving her a quick hug. "I know you are a fully fledged macro hip chick and have all this cooking stuff under control," he said, winking seductively, "but is there anything I can do to help the macro queen in the kitchen?" Its about time we got cooking, he thought to himeself, but tried to keep his thoughts on organic rice and sea vegetables.

Shiitake was surprised but delighted at his boldness and display of affection. He really is all yang, she thought with a slight fluttering of her heart chakra. "Well, I have things pretty well under control here, but I could use more wood for the stove - you’ll find it out back." Glad to be of service, Ken rolled up his sleeves and went to collect the fuel, thinking that the fire between him and Shiitake was just starting to hot up. Taking in the view from the back of Shiitake’s abode, Ken made a mental note of the nice deck and hot tub. He wondered how Shiitake could afford such a nice place, a hybrid vehicle, the latest model pressure cooker and other new age toys on a yoga teacher’s salary. He collected the wood and started back toward the kitchen.

It was then that he heard it. A sound so horrifying that Ken’s heart leapt into his throat as he rushed to the kitchen. He hoped that Shiitake had not injured herself with the new samurai grade vegetable knife she had been deftly demonstrating earlier. He sighed with relief when she re-emerged from rinsing the pressed salad without any overt signs of trauma. She stopped mid note when she saw Ken’s startled face and smiled. He must have been taken aback to discover her hidden vocal talents, she thought. "Macrobiotics addresses so many aspects of life, Ken," Shiitake explained. "singing a happy song every day is vital to cultivating your chi and a positive attitude. It even tones the Spleen!" She resumed singing where she had left off. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…." She must be tone deaf, thought Ken, as Shiitake proceeded to set the table. Well at least her spleen is benefiting. I wonder about mine though!

"I always sing when I am happy!" Shiitake gushed as she seated herself beside Ken at the candlelit table. Ken wondered how Shiitake’s neighbours felt about her musical leanings. He realized that despite this unexpected revelation about Shiitake and his increasingly grumbling stomach, he was happy too. By the time the perfectly balance meal was ready, Ken was famished and just made it through Shiitake’s closed eyes offering of gratitude before tucking in. Shiitake had been so animated with all her detailed explanations of macrobiotic life, that Ken was surprised when she fell silent as soon as they started eating. He was slightly concerned, wondering if he had some parsley caught between his front teeth that had put her off. He need not have worried. Shiitake was far more focused on other concerns. The only sound coming from Shiitake’s direction was the sound of her teeth colliding rhythmically. Did he catch her counting how many times she chewed each mouthful of rice, or had he imagined that? Ninety nine, one hundred. Was he mistaken? Could anyone chew a mouthful of rice for that long? Ken was used to wolfing his food down. Shiitake noticed this, put down her bamboo chopsticks and said as gently as she could, "it’s best if you chew each mouthful of food at least 50 to 100 times. Then you can rest assured that the enzymes in your saliva have broken all the complex carbohydrates down to simpler sugars and your Spleen won’t be overwhelmed with its task of digesting it. You will have so much more energy!" Ken thought he was doing well when he managed to chew each mouthful five times, but he made an effort to put her advice into practise. By the time all the dishes that Shiitake had meticulously prepared were consumed, it was getting late. Not only was Shiitake a babe, but she sure can cook, thought Ken as he polished off his third slice of blueberry cous cous cake. Reluctant to call it a night, but mindful of not coming across as too forward, Ken prepared to leave. He couldn’t help but notice Shiitake’s look of disappointment at the realization that the night was about to end. Although saddened to see her downcast look, he felt his heart perform a little somersault of joy, delighted at this indication that she felt the same way he did. As he put on his nylon jacket, Shiitake suddenly grabbed his arm and exclaimed, "you should be wearing natural fibers! Synthetic fibers are disruptive to your chi flow!" Ken was surprised but before he could respond she added, "and, for optimal digestion you need to allow at least three hours before going to bed after eating." "Does that mean I have to stay up past midnight now to prevent digestive stagnation?" he asked, remembering the words she had used earlier when describing the idea behind the ginger compress home remedy. "I don’t think my boss will be too impressed if I fall asleep on the job tomorrow even if I do turn up with impeccable digestive chi to show for it!" Shiitake winked seductively and Ken knew he would implement any advice she had to offer. About to bid Shiitake goodbye for the evening, Ken had to decide if there was potential for him and Shiitake. Where will this meeting of yin and yang lead ? What do you think?

With his ears still ringing from Shiitake’s "singing", and all her other quirky traits still fresh in his mind, will Ken decide that he is not really that into her at all? As he is leaving, will he break Shiitake’s heart by half-heartedly blurting out, "I’ll call ya!" as he heads out the door?

Does Ken think that Shiitake is so hot, that he could have cared less if all she had served him was cold shiitake broth for dinner while yodelling Scandinavian mountain hymns? Does he tell himself, so what if she sings a little off key?

Does Ken start to take off his jacket saying, "In that case, since we have to stay up and digest that meal, how about we finish off that bottle of wine - I’d like to hear more about this Chief Low or whatever you call it…"

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